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Sunday, 7 April 2013

Fuck. Me. Sideways.

It's not often you'll see me employ heavy duty expletives around here, especially in the title of the post. I try only swear for emphasis. Know, then, that what you are about to see will be difficult to absorb. I suggest you sit down.

So I've been pottering about with this 3rd edition warhammer malarkey for around two years now.

I started late, so I've had the misfortune of watching the The Great OOP eBay Inflation erode the collectors ability to, well, collect.

Even so, I've been quite pleased with the things I've collected so far. Given the financial, spacial and marital constraints under which I must work, having four OOP oldhammer armies (mostly unpainted, but you already knew that so don't ask!) which all feel as if they have enough figures to be playable armies.

Perhaps your story is similar? Perhaps you're thinking - given the age, rarity and cost of these things, actually, I'm a credible member of that bizarre 80's Citadel Only sub-culture that exists within Oldhammer.

Yeah. that's what I was thought too.

I've come across other sites where the collections are impressive. I know that there are some prolific collectors out there, but so far I've never had any real there's-no-point-in-continuing-because-I'll-never-match-that moments.

Until now.

Go! Go and see. I'll wait for you. Absorb the whole blog. It'll take you 10 minutes. I can wait.

Back?

Need a hug? Cleaned up your ejaculant?

There, there. You can still be a collecter, even if you have one OOP figure. It's not the size of the collection that counts.

But, if you want to be a collector, just know that, unless you commit murder*, your chances of owning 600 painted OOP 80s goblins are basically nil**. Owning that AND a fully-armed-and-operational painted Slann army? That is nil.

When I think of my own paltry goblin related efforts, progress of which I was planning to stage tomorrow, my mind is torn clean in half by the enormity of the fact that even when complete, they will only represent 10% of what I have just seen.

I'm going to go and sit in a corner, hold my knees and rock gently for a while. There will be incoherent mumbling.

*Not an advocate of this, by the way. Murder is a big no-no nowadays.

**And having just said that, I suppose a veritable legion of wealthy-beyond-my-wildest-dreams collectors shall come forth to prove me wrong and further shred my already tortured mind with their division strength collections...

Friday, 29 March 2013

Battle Report: The Bridge Over the River Chai - Turn 8

Battle Navigator

Prologue
Meet The Contestants
Rules and Deployment
Turn 1
Turn 2
Turn 3
Turn 4
Turn 5
Turn 6
Turn 7
Turn 8 (you are here)
Turn 9
Turn 10
Epilogue

Turn 8

Wait.

What's this?

Turn 8?

Turn 8 indeed. Please stand by whilst those new to oldhammer finish convulsing after their aneurysms.

...and we're not done yet.

The eighth turn was short and brutal. Again: lots of running. Shortly, you will see a picture describing the moves. There are words on that picture. Six of them are "Flee!" Four of them are "Charge!"

Anyway, this is how the turn started:

The turn starts like this

Movement Phase

The Dark Elves, still under control of the GM at this stage, charge the newly revealed Firehammers as the Mystic Mist that had confounded them so last turn dissipates.

The Ironaxes line Wineghum up for a charge, but their stumpy little legs fail them at the last moment! Failing their charge, the dwarves find themselves stranded between what might be described as a rock and a hard place, where rock=Rogaine and hard place=Wineghum. Both declare a charge!

Now let it be said that the dwarves are renowned for being doughty, stoic and thoroughly reliable - when it comes to the two legged variety of enemy. Wineghum's giant spider, having twice as many legs as the already terrifying horses the dwarves are so suspicious of, scared the shit out of them.

The dwarves flee.

Unfortunately, the same stumpy legs that got them into this mess failed to get them out of the mess as both chargers make contact. Rogaine and his Grand Hareline cull three of the little buggers with their free hacks.

Actions

GM:

MB: Charged @ F, moved 8"
SQC: Charged @ F, wheeled left 1.5", moved forward 6"

Airbornegrove:

F: Stand & shot @ MB, grenade deviated and missed
I: Charged @ W, unformed, routed
A2C: Routed, moved 3" @ difficult ground
S: Reformed

Thantsants:

W: Charged @ I, persued @ I, moved 7", wounded 1
RGH: Charged @ I, persued @ I, wheeled left 2", moved forward 6", wounded 2
GF: Routed, moved 7"
RLR: Routed, moved 8"
K3C: Routed, moved 7"
WoP: Routed, moved 10"

Shooting Phase

Well - there's not really much to say about the shooting phase. Both the dwarves and the orcs have missile units fleeing. Coupled with the orcs running out of war machines as they have been, they orcs can only offer a poor and desperate bolt thrower shot that swings wide of its mark.

The dwarves, however, claim some scalps by continuing their barrage on the orc artillery positions, killing three. To add insult to injury, a black orc is shot in passing.

Actions

Airbornegrove:

A2C: Shot @ GF, wounded 1
BT: Shot @ SC, missed
E: Shot @ SC deviated @ SCC, MMC, wounded 1, 2

Thantsants:

SC: Shot @ S, missed

Combat Phase

Unfortunately for the Ironaxes (compromised as they are by fleeing) are unable to offer any real resistance to Rogaine or even Wineghum. The dwarves are savaged and dispatched. There were no survivors.

Filled with hatred for Morgrim, Master B'tor wastes no time in engaging the dwarf leader. Vivid manifestations of rage and wrath - sparks fly as the two smite each other. In the end, Master B'tor overcomes Morgrim, scoring a wound on the beleaguered dwarf.

Ultimately, the Dark Elves win the fight, but are unable to rout the dwarves. The elves wrap around, trying to press their advantage home.

Actions

W, RGH vs I

Round 1

: Free Attacks
A1 I5: Rogaine -> Dwarf4
A2 I4: Rogaine -> Dwarf4 (1W)
A3 I3: Rogaine -> Dwarf2 (1W)
A1 I3: W -> Dwarf3 (1W)

Round 2

: Free Attacks
A1 I5: Rogaine -> Dwarf1 (1w)

MB, SQC vs F

Round 1

: Modifiers
MB: charged
SQC: charged
F: none
: Attacks
A1 I10: Parried
A2 I9: MB -> MI
A3 I8: MB -> MI
A4 I7: MB -> MI
A1 I6: DE2 (std) -> Dwarf11 (1W)
A1 I6: DE3 -> Dwarf8
A1 I6: DE4 -> Dwarf4
A1 I4: MB <- MI
A2 I3: MB <- MI
A3 I2: MB <- MI
A1 I2: MB <- Dwarf2 (std)
A1 I2: DE4 <- Dwarf4
A1 I2: DE3 <- Dwarf8 (1W)
A1 I1: MB's mount -> Dwarf2 (std)
A4 I1: MB <- MI
A2 I1: MB's mount -> Dwarf2 (std)
: Results
MB, SQC: +1 (standard) +1 (charged) +1 (ranks) +1 (wounds) = 4
F: +1 (standard) +1 (ranks) +1 (wounds) = 3

Round 2

: Modifiers
MB: follow-up
SQC: follow-up
F: none
: Attacks
A1 I9: MB -> MI
A2 I8: MB -> MI
A3 I7: MB -> MI (1W)
A4 I6: MB -> MI
A1 I6: DE2 (std) -> Dwarf10
A1 I6: DE3 -> Dwarf8 (1W)
A1 I6: DE4 -> Dwarf4
A1 I6: DE9 -> Dwarf10
A1 I6: DE10 -> Dwarf9
A1 I6: DE11 -> Dwarf2 (std)
A1 I4: MB <- MI
A2 I3: MB <- MI
A3 I2: MB <- MI
A1 I2: DE11 <- Dwarf2 (std)
A1 I2: DE4 <- Dwarf4
A1 I2: DE10 <- Dwarf9
A1 I2: DE2 (std) <- Dwarf10
A1 I1: MB's mount -> Dwarf2 (std)
A4 I1: MB <- MI
A2 I1: MB's mount -> Dwarf2 (std)
: Results
MB, SQC: +1 (standard) +1 (follow-up) +1 (ranks) +2 (wounds) = 5
F: +1 (standard) +1 (ranks) = 2

***

Blimey! He's back.

Morgrim planted his feet firmly as he watched Master B'tor lower his lance.

The elf clearly didn't get the message the last time.

Morgrim's ribs still ached with every move and his breathing was laboured. There was no chance of him repeating his previous stunt of taking the lance in the chest.

The commander of the dwarves shook his head. He hated cavalry. But, it'll have to be the lizard, he thought.

With slow deliberation, Morgrim unclipped the pouch on his belt and removed a hand grenade. As the elf kicked the cold one into action, Morgrim casually leaned back and lit the grenade on the cigarillo of one of his dwarf colleagues - this other dwarf nodding in agreement.

Don't fail me now, he thought as he kissed its side.

Using a gentle underhanded throw, the grenade floated through the air, only to bounce awkwardly off a tiny pebble and ricochet down the gradual slope of the field towards the river. Excellent dwarven engineering had produced an almost perfect sphere - exactly the sort of thing that would roll down an even slope well - even with the slightest momentum. So it was that the grenade rolled some fifteen or so feet away before exploding spectacularly and harmlessly.

Morgrim cursed as he watched the dramatic figure of the dark elf punch through the smoke and dust, his murderous intent clear.

We'll just have to do it the hard way, then.

He raised his sword to shoulder height. He could feel the elf searching his face, trying to make eye contact - trying to penetrate the dwarf with his hate and anger. But in order to survive this encounter, Morgrim knew he'd need to concentrate. The real fight here was now with the lizard. Once the lance was out of the equation - well, that was a different story.

***

Master B'tor relished every uneven bounce of his cold one mount. Cold ones lacked the simple elegance of horses, but the enormous comfort taken from their long strides compared to the violent bouncing of a galloping horse made it much easier to focus on the fight.

He knew better than to expect the dwarf to try the same tactic as the last time. He had felt the impact on the dwarf and could not believe the dwarf had not taken serious injury in that fight. That both had returned to fight each other was very respect worthy, he thought. He was proud he had overcome the loss of his foot and in a way, he was proud that the dwarf still stood - about to receive his just desserts.

But too late did the elf understand the dwarf's plan. Closer and closer came the tip of the lance, until the dwarf darted right into the path of the cold one. The lance, already dangerously close to the ground, tracked the dwarf right up until the shaft clattered into the raging beast's shoulder, kicking the lance out sideways and down. It was all Master B'tor could do not to stab the thing into the ground and vault over the bloody little dwarf.

***

Morgrim launched himself straight at the head of the cold one, which regardless of its owner's desires was planning on meeting him halfway. It's great teeth snapped shut on the inbound blade, stopping the swing completely and causing all parties to come to a halt. Pulling the sword down, Mogrim twisted the head of the cold one sideways and started pulling the creature around. The stupid creature, enraged as it was, didn't think to let go of the blade, but tried to shake its head in order to free it up. It was long past the point of feeling pain as its blood started to run freely through brutal teeth.

***

Master B'tor clicked his teeth in frustration. The dwarf was using the stupidity of the cold one and his diminutive stature to keep the creature's head in between himself and the elf. B'tor dropped the lance in favour of his more versatile sword, which he poked over his left arm in a desperate attempt to find the dwarf.

***

Morgrim suddenly understood the old saying of 'swinging a tiger by the tail.' Whilst he wasn't altogether sure what a tiger was (that being a key element preventing him from understanding the proverb before), he was fairly sure that once one stopped swinging the proverbial tiger around, it would be both angry and capable of divesting the swinger of his life. So it was with the cold one.

As if on cue, the cold one suddenly let go of the blade, pink foam scattering from its torn lips as it shook its head. Morgrim skirted anti-clockwise around the left as the elf guided the creature in a full clockwise turn to the right.

Morgrim easily parried the dark elf's blade as it shot directly at the dwarf when the two came abreast again, before swinging at the elven commander's sword arm. The blow was clumsy and passed under the limb - the elf displaying no effort at all in his evasion.

***

Master B'tor smiled as the dwarf blade sailed beneath his arm. He hadn't expected it, but he could capitalise on it. He released his grip on the reigns, allowing them to slither through his open hand, creating a slack unwise for the riding of cold ones. But he followed this up by throwing his balance over to his right, allowing him to apply all his now unsupported weight to his sword arm.

Gravity took hold. To everyone else, it would look as if the elf was falling from the lizard. Master B'tor twirled the sword in his hand - the blade now pointing down.

The blade bit deep into the exposed flesh where Morgrim's shoulder met his neck. Catching himself in at the very last second, Master B'tor's left hand snapped shut on the reigns, stopping his fall. He pushed down on the blade, causing it to bite even deeper, but also allowing him to force himself upright against the solid bulk of the dwarf.

Blood sprayed as the blade came free.

***

For the second time in his career Morgrim felt the sting of a blade pass through his shoulder, caused by an elf on high. The sheer surprise of the event caused his legs to fold under him, leading him to sit clumsily on the floor. Worse was the warm burst of blood that followed the withdrawal of the blade, splashing his cheek and into his left eye.

He cried out in pain and shock as he watched the cold one skitter away, before turning to face him once again.

***

Magic Phase

Hang on - where's the reserve phase! I expect a full report!

Ah. About that. Although reserves form a huge part of the manoeuvrability aspect of 3rd edition, units cannot reserve move if they're subject to compulsory movement or within 4" of an enemy unit. At this stage, anyone eligible for reserves just had no interest in going anywhere.

As for magic, Wineghum passes his intelligence test and is able to cast Strength of Combat - a personal effect spell that increases his strength by 1.

Don't look at me like that - +1S is very valuable, you know. At least its not Mystic Mist.

Actions

Thantsants:

W: Casted Strength of Combat, +1 Strength, 4 MP remaining

Battle Navigator

Turn 8 (you are here)

Turn 9

Turn 10

Epilogue

Sunday, 24 March 2013

It's a Time Machine!

Look!

I found a time machine. It's set for the eighties. I think you should take a look inside.

Yeah. You did hear Iron Maiden playing in the background. Don't forget to set the video recorder for the A-Team.

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Oldhammer - Bring Out Your Lead! (2013)

I don't know if you've heard yet, but there's this thing happening up in Nottingham this summer. Maybe you're interested in going?

ROC in Nottingham

In my last post.....located at the end of Gaj's last post (If that makes sense) I introduced my newly completed Chaos Army. I also said that I would take a Nurgle warband to the ROC game in Nottingham in August. This was because my new army is Nurgle themed and it would be easy to create a warband from this. But as time past....a few hours really. I decided that I would use the dice rolls, that I had rolled when making that warband, and use these for a Khorne warband. It was only five strong after all, so not a big job really. The only change I made was replacing the Chaos Wizard/Sorcerer with a Chaos Champion (Marauder) as Khorne isn't really a patron of those who are magically inclined!

Anyway here they are no background story yet but that will come in time....

The Chaos Warrior (Level 15) was painted some months ago. The three Orcs I did this afternoon (speed painting...from unbased unpainted miniatures to complete in one sitting!!!). The miniature I am using as the Marauder is an old Citadel miniature that was sold as a 'Hero' in the 80's...I think. So there you have it. These will be going to Nottingham with me along with my Chaos Army.

And finally here is a picture of a dragon I painted ages ago. It is a Mantic miniature and is small compared to Citadel dragons. But I like it and field it as a young dragon.

Got to go now...

Monday, 4 March 2013

Battle Report: The Bridge Over the River Chai - Turn 7

Battle Navigator

Prologue
Meet The Contestants
Rules and Deployment
Turn 1
Turn 2
Turn 3
Turn 4
Turn 5
Turn 6
Turn 7 (you are here)
Turn 8
Turn 9
Turn 10
Epilogue

Turn 7

Well. Turn 7. I got there in the end.

And what an interesting turn it is. In the last turn, it was still possible to discern lines - the nominal facing off of opposing force. That goes away in Turn 7. Because everyone runs away. Now its just skirmishing with units.

Oh, and the GM gets sneaky. Control of Master B'tor is 'revoked' and passes to the GM (Dreamfish). If he gets into command range of his units, Thantsants could lose control of the whole lot...

The turn starts like this

Movement Phase

Of course, to initiate lots of running away, one must initiate running toward. This the contestants do with great gusto, launching five charges between them. By the same toke, troops not specifically interested in the outcome of events (that being most of the orcs) flee. Rogaine loses Chamallow's Goblin Command and Suderfed's Big Boys Brigade to the table edge as they scream into the distance.

Rogaine watches as Meedy Ochre, deeming his task to be done, lopes off to the west in search of alcohol and Nico, who he hasn't seen for a little while now.

Kibarkid's Lot and the Lamentable Boworcs have also had enough, despite their heroic efforts, and flee from the Steelaxes - freeing them up to attempt a charge on the Gaversconne's Fireguts. Alas for stumpy legs - the exhausted dwarves surrender the greenskin target to the Ironaxes, who have the same idea - but have the drive, commitment and the requisite 6" to connect with their foe.

In a comedic slapfest, two units of crossbow... er... beings have at one another. Although the dwarves fail to connect, the obliging elves step up, so happily, they meet in the middle.

Actions

GM:

MB: Moved 7" @ SQC

Airbornegrove:

I: Charged @ GF, moved forward 6"
S: Charged @ GF, wheeled left 1.5", moved forward 4.5", unformed, holds
A2C: Charged @ SQC, wheeled left 1", moved forward 5", unformed, holds
MO: Routed off the table
F: Moved forward 1.5" @ half movement

Thantsants:

GF: Holds
WoP: Charged @ I, moved forward 8.5", wheeled left 1.5", unformed
SQC: Charged @ A2C, wheeled right 3.5", moved forward 0.5", unformed
RLR: Routed forward 8"
K3C: Routed forward 7"
SBB: Routed off the table
CGC: Routed off the table
RGH: Reformed

Shooting Phase

Now, when most of your shooters are involved in hand to hand combat, the shooting phase tends towards the dull.

But! Angry dwarves, having spent most of their turns lost in the mist with no idea of what's going on around them score a direct hit!

Perhaps a scoreline would help to explain the situation:

Earthquaker: 1
Man-mangler: 0

Not only do the dwarves succeed in destroying the orc warmachine, they bolt thrower also kills two of Rogaine's finest! And some goblins get shot. Meh.

Actions

Airbornegrove:

A1C: Shot @ K3C, wounded 2
BT: Shot @ RGH, wounded 2
E: Shot @ RGH deviated @ MM, destroyed MM and wounded 1

Thantsants:

SC: Shot @ S, missed

***

"Lemme guess - a rock fell outta the sky and smashed the arm, right?"

The other orcs blinked at Pannerdol. Nayz slowly pointed to the rock he was balancing on his shoulder. He had been about to lower it into the basket. His mouth opened and closed. "But..."

Pannerdol held a finger to Nayz' lips "Shht! Don't say nuffink! Whaddaya think - I'm some kinda idiot? I goes for a piss for thirty seconds and when I come back, yoose lots gone and broken Man Mangler! Then you- " he poked Nayz in the chest, "picks up a rock and act like nothin's happened! You lot make me sick!" Pannerdol's shrieked the last word at such a high pitch that his voice faltered.

Nayz just stood blinking. "But..."

"Aww boss!" Ibupp whined. "E's fer real! A stone dropped from the sky and smashed Man Manger! Honest!"

Pannerdol raised his eyebrows. "...and landed in right in the basket, just how we'd put a rock there?"

"Yeah! Now yer gettin' it!"

Pannerdol slapped Ibupp across the face.

"Rocks."

-Slap-

"Don't."

-Slap-

"Drop."

-Slap-

"From."

-Slap-

"The."

-Slap-

"Sky."

-Slap-

"Okay?" Pannerdol leaned in, thrusting his face into Ibupp's smarting face.

Both Nayz and Ibupp blinked. "But..." they said in unison.

"So's I don't care which of you knob heads broke Man Mangler. Pack yer stuff - we're leav- Hey! Who killed Bennilinn?"

Ibupp pointed at the rock, now lying in the split remains of the stone throwers throwing arm.

Pannerdol rolled his eyes and flung his hands wide. "Of course! It was the magic rock, weren't it! Mebbe we should all jes' worship it before 'e calls 'is mates and more rocks rain from the sky, eh?" He aimed a wild kick at Ibupp. "Pack it up! We're leaving!"

***

Combat Phase

Right, its been so long that I looked at turn 6, I can't even remember if this has happened before. But its worth knowing, so I'll mention it here.

In 3rd edition, when you charge a unit and you must wheel more than 22.5 degrees in order to connect, your unit becomes unformed. That means that if you are pushed back in combat, you will automatically rout.

Worth noting, because that happens twice here.

After some furious swinging, chopping and hacking, the crossbowelves see off the crossbowdwarves, who are unformed and thus flee back to the freezing River Chai. The elves, realising that hitting things for a living is much more dangerous than shooting things for a living, decide to restrain from pursuing the dwarves, choosing to reform instead.

The witch elves, flexing the supremely valuable tactical advantage of attacking an enemy in the rear, pretty much bounce like a ball, fleeing in exactly the same direction they came from, after the Ironaxes hand their (the dark elves, that is) arses to them. The big'uns also take delivery of their arses, fleeing in the opposite direction, leaving the bewildered and bloody dwarves stranded in the middle.

Actions

SQC vs A2C

Round 1

: Modifiers
SQC: unformed
A2C: unformed
: Attacks
A1 I6: DE1 -> Dwarf3
A1 I6: DE2 (std) -> Dwarf2
A1 I6: DE3 -> Dwarf1
A1 I2: DE3 <- Dwarf1
A1 I2: DE2 (std) <- Dwarf2
A1 I2: DE2 (std) <- Dwarf3
A1 I2: DE1 <- Dwarf4
: Results
SQC: +1 (standard) +1 (ranks) = 2
A2C: +1 (ranks) = 1
: Free Hack 1
A1 I6: DE1 -> Dwarf3 (1W)
A1 I6: DE2 (std) -> Dwarf2
A1 I6: DE3 -> Dwarf1

I vs GF, WoP

Round 1

: Modifiers
I: charged
GF: none
WoP: unformed
: Attacks
A1 I6: Dwarf5 <- WE1
A1 I6: Dwarf6 <- WE2
A1 I5: Dwarf5 <- WE1
A1 I5: Dwarf6 <- WE2
A1 I2: Dwarf5 -> WE1
A1 I2: Dwarf6 -> WE2 (1W)
A1 I2: Dwarf1 -> Orc1
A1 I2: Dwarf2 -> Orc1
A1 I1: Dwarf1 <- Orc1
: Results
I: +1 (standard) +1 (charged) +1 (wounds) = 3
GF, WoP: +1 (standard) = 1
: Free Hack 1
A1 I2: Dwarf5 -> WE1 (1W)
A1 I2: Dwarf6 -> WE2 (1W)

Round 2

: Modifiers
I: follow-up
GF: none
: Attacks
A1 I2: Dwarf1 -> Gaversconne (1W)
A1 I2: Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne
A2 I1: Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne
A3 I1: Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne
A1 I2: Dwarf2 -> Orc2 (std)
A1 I1: Dwarf2 <- Orc2 (std)
A1 I2: Dwarf3 (std) -> Orc1 (1W)
A1 I2: Dwarf5 -> Orc5 (1W)
: Results
I: +1 (standard) +1 (war banner) +1 (follow-up) +3 (wounds) = 6
GF: +1 (standard) = 1
: Free Hack 1
A1 I2: Dwarf1 -> Gaversconne
A1 I2: Dwarf2 -> Orc2 (std) (1W)
A1 I2: Dwarf3 (std) -> Orc1
A1 I2: Dwarf4 -> Orc1
A1 I2: Dwarf5 -> Orc5

Reserves Phase

And so, in the beginning of the turn, there were armies. Now, there are just teams. Of most interesting in this otherwise mediocre reserves phase is the sudden interest in Wineghum by both Master B'tor and Rogaine.

Two facts worth noting at this point:

Wineghum currently holds the Percolator.
Master B'tor is controlled by the GM now.

Wineghum feels a shiver down his back...

Actions

GM:

MB: Moved 7" @ hill
SQC: Turned left, changed formation to 4 files (2nd manoeuvre), moved forward 4"

Airbornegrove:

I: Turned around

Thantsants:

RGH: Wheeled right 0.5", moved forward 5.5"

***

Rogaine sighed. They just don't make orcs like they used to. He understood that the other orcs had run - they were just orcs. But watching Gaversconne lead the three surviving black orcs in an all out rout depressed him. Sure, Gaversconne was an unrivalled plank, but he was still a black orc. Actually, if he was running, he probably wasn't. Half-orc pussy!

All the more depressing was that it looked like it would come down to him to sort it all out again. As usual.

"Right boys, its been a good scrap fer me. Coulda been better. Not so much for you lot, though. We'd have been all over this field if not for you lot running off like that." He waved a hand at the two orcs lying on the floor, connected as they were by a giant bolt. One was still twitching. "That's what running away gets you. As it stands, we're gonna have to go. But not before I get my Percolator."

"Let me tell you how its gonna be," he growled at the remaining two. "We're gonna get Percolator off Wineghum, right? If I gets there and look around me and you ain't right here next to me," - the imaginary spot he pointed at seemed very close to him - "I'm gonna find you. Then I'm gonna pull the bulgy bit outta yer throat. Then I'll take yer nuts in my fist and ram them so far up yer arses that they'll pop out where the bulgy bit was. Then I'll make yer swallow 'em through yer mouths. By doing that, I'll have made a noose around yer jaws, which I'll use to drag you sons-of-bitches all the way back to camp, where I'll skin what's left and stew the lot. Are we clear?"

The others swallowed, emphasising the sudden value of the bulgy bits in their throats. A nervous nod followed.

"Good. Move out!"

***

Magic Phase

You might remember this scene from the Wyemm Seeyay - a poor wizard, under pressure, fails their intelligence test because they don't many magic points. Poor Wineghum, suddenly feeling very small as he watches the Witch Elves flee past his position, loses concentration and fails to cast anything useful.

Actions

Thantsants:

W: Failed to cast, 5 MP remaining

Battle Navigator

Turn 7 (you are here)

Well both Gaj and I have started our narrative campaign set in the Border Princes...well on the border of the Border Princes down on the Blood River. Gaj has started the narrative already and if you wish to read this then scroll back and you will find a filthy old drunk in a local tavern that will be more than happy to get you up to date. Well for the price of a drink or three!

Anyway the first battle has been fought, and no doubt Gaj will write something about this sometime soon, unless I am supposed to do this. I ought to check really. Everyone is very busy doing all manner of “Oldhammer” related bits and pieces and we are being carried along on the general wave of enthusiasm. In fact if the blogs are used to measure the activity then Oldhammer is very healthy indeed. I am waffling now so back to the point of this entry. Our campaign is going to be an ongoing project and part of this is introducing new armies to events when we get a chance. My latest army project was completed today and will be joining Cornelius in his struggle against Gromeo. This army is a Chaos Army based on the list in the Army List Book but has been given a very Nurgle theme. This is the army that I am planning on taking to Nottingham later this year and my ROC war band is going to be based on this as well. I know and can hear some of you say “Nurgle.....I don’t recall him being invited!” Well you are right but like an annoying relative Nurgle is coming to visit regardless.

Anyway here are some pictures of the army. The miniatures are all Citadel some new, some old, with a lot of Mordheim chaps thrown in.

Not a great photograph but here is the Champion. 'Bonyak'. Also known as 'Bonyak the Scabby', 'Bonyak the liar', 'Bonyak the mangy bastard who broke his lance on the gates of Kislev'. A reasonably capable Chaos Sorcerer. (Note the eyes on the battle axe....it was supposed to indicate that the weapon was possessed unfortunately it looks like it is possessed by Spongebob Squarepants!!!) Oh well I never claimed to be a great painter.....

Next....